People Change.. to Assholes

People change along years. We all do. They either become -perhaps- a better versions of themselves, or -definitely- become assholes. No one remains the same. We build experiences and memories along days. We meet different people, but the most common pattern is that people turn to assholes, while in some rare cases, people become humans!

a22d4c7e2b2fa07c985149b5b77ab856Being an asshole became a pattern, a characteristic and an advantage. Assholes take people for granted. They misuse their power, and abuse everyone lying in their circle of relationships. They become the threat, where everyone else becomes a victim.

Assholes circle is growing massively fast, that it leaves no chance for “Humans” to stay. Humans leave this life early enough not to be harmed, but some fail to escape on the right time. Some are still captured, harmed, tortured and abused. Usually after such asshole’s actions, those humans are left behind as wreckage, remains of humans.

Damage is beyond explanation.. Pain is more than what words can explain.. Once upon a time.. I used to be a human.. Now, I am only remains of a human..


Choices make choices.. lots of them. They know facts, or guess things, and eventually they still choose to make their own choices. They choose to stay with a cheater, or decide to end a fraud. They choose to break their child’s soul, or live up and stand up for them. They choose to believe a stranger telling a strange truth, or trust a brother who is full of lies.

Choices are made, consciously and unconsciously. But they change our lives forever. They change the lives of those surrounding us forever. Our choices do not only affect us, but they affect everyone else around.

It is all about choices..

Auf der Suche


Wenn ich kein Wörter mehr finde.. Wenn ich kein Lösung mehr habe.. Wenn ich ganz depremiert bin.. Wenn ich mit niemand sprechen kann.. oder darf.. Wenn die ganze Welt sehr schwarz ist.. Wenn Angst mein Hauptgefühl ist.. Wenn Hass mich ausfüllt.. Wenn ich mich töten will.. Wenn Tod zu werden eine Wünsch ist… Wenn keiner mich versteht… oder mit mir bleiben will… Wenn ich stark abgelent bin..

Dann bin ich auf der Suche auf Hilfe.. Irgendwelche Hilfe, die vielleicht mir auf Dreck rausziehen kann.. Vielleicht es ist kein Dreck, vielleicht es ist einfach mein Leben.

Auf der Suche.. bin ich immer noch.


اللهم إليك أشكو ضعف قوتي وقلة حيلتي وهواني على الناس يا أرحم الراحمين أنت ربُّ المستضعفين وانت ربّي إلى من تكلني، إلى بعيد يتجهَّمني أم إلى عدو ملكته أمري إن لم يكن بك علىِّ غضبُُ فلا أبالي، ولكنَّ عافَيَتَك أوسعُ لي أعوذ بنور وجهك الذي أشرقت له الظلمات، وصلح عليه أمر الدنيا والآخره من أن تُنزل بي غضبك أو يَحِلَّ علىَّ سخطُك لك العتبى حتى ترضى ولا حول ولا قوة إلا بك

إلهي كيف أدعوك وأنا أنا، وكيف أقطع رجائي منك وأنت أنت؟، إلهي إن لم أدعوك تستيجب لي فمن ذا الذي أدعوه فيستجيب؟ وإن لم أسألك تعطيني فمن ذا الذي أسأله فيعطيني؟ وإن لم أتضرع إليك تنجيني فمن ذا الذي أتضرع إليه فينجيني؟ إاللهم وكما فلقت البحر لموسى ونجيته من الغرق فصلّ ياربي على محمد وعلى آل محمد ونجني مما أنا فيه من كرب بفرج منك عاجل غير آجل وبرحمتك يا أرحم الراحمين.

About Change..


Change is the only constant in this life.

Change changes us, and we can change the change.

We cannot change the people, but we can change the people!

Change is sometimes the only cure for the constant pain.

Change is a tough process, even though it does not stop, it gives us a chance to change.

If anything stops changing, it implies its death.

We can change our figures easily, but it takes a long time to change our hearts.


His Words

Words are the strongest magical spell which works in all places, times and situations. Those words when they are his, are the most seducing ever.

bigstock-Businessman-On-Park-Bench-With-64115242_sr8ggbThat day, I got stuck in the morning traffic and arrived later than planned to work. I had an important meeting, when being late was the last thing I wished for. It took me a while to get out of the rushing mood and to actively engage again with my colleagues. With the first break after long stressful two hours of discussions, I realized that he texted me…

I eagerly opened his message to find: “Shall we have lunch together?”. A cold shiver went through my spine to my limbs, leaving my mind in a euphoric state. My stomach tingled me slightly with that butterflies effect. I wonder why I always feel that way when I read his name anywhere. My heart jumps of happiness, and natural endorphin is flowing through my body, just by his name! “Together“, this word from him ignited my senses, that I felt the heat glowing of my face. I receive the exact same question from most of my colleagues and friends on a daily basis. But from him, it sounds sweetly different. I repeated that magical word “Together” a hundred times in my mind. With my racing heart beats, I gathered my strength to text him back: “Lets!”. I feared writing more words not to be revealed. I still could not tell him how I feel towards him, although I am sure that he reads me very well. I could neither risk a rejection nor lose my friend.

Drowning in my daydreams, I was awaken by his next message: “Looking forward to see you at 12:00 🙂 “. Those few words, “Looking forward”, his name, the smile, just him! This is purely seducing. His few little words are playing over and over again in my mind with how I imagine him saying them. They contain me, shedding away all my fears, as if it is a beautiful hug for my soul just through his words. “See you”, how does he really see me? Do I really like him that much? Is it only in my mind, or is it mutual? These are some questions which only increase my thirst for him. Am I that precious to him likewise he is to me? I hope…

His words are pretty normal words like everyone else, but their positive thrilling effect on me is non-comparable to anything that I have ever experienced before!

His Hug

11Today in that long meeting at work, I had my phone blinking that a new message was received. I shortly checked who was it. For my surprise it was him…

My breath stopped for a few seconds and my heart skipped one heart beat. I opened the message out of my thirst for his words. It stated “I have few minutes to be at our spot, see you!”. I was excited and eager to steal those moments with him. I closed my eyes imaging myself between his arms. Honestly, I could not wish for anything more than his hug. Then I sent him: “See you at our location X“. Nothing seduces me like that cipher between us.

I excused myself out of that super boring meeting, picked up the jacket and rushed to our secret spot. It is a favorite hidden location in the garage, where we usually get out of work formalities and just enjoy our company. I walked out there and saw him standing there, staring at me with his gorgeous eyes (Link), when my heart beats went faster.

I ran towards him, and threw myself between his arms. I whispered “I dreamed of your hug whole night”. He held me tighter and gently squeezed my body into his. His warm breath went through my hair and tickled my neck. I fused my whole soul within his body. I love that close contact where every part of our bodies are strongly attached. Our arms are twisted around one another containing our excitement and happiness within our souls. Our faces hiding within one another isolating us from the whole world. Our legs and abdomens fully attached that no one can find who is whom. Above all, our chests fully attached pushing one another to sync our heart beats to become one soul in two unified bodies. I totally dissolved in him that I wished that time could stop at that specific moment, however he had a train to catch. Unwillingly, I slowly pulled my soul back to my body, took one tiny step backwards while moving my finger tips along his arms until my hand found his. I held them so firm, fearing the next moment when I have to let go. He leaned forward to me whispering “I really missed you“. I came closer to him, breathing in his scent, and giving myself one last chance to feel that warmth and comfort, then I pulled away giving him a chance to go to work.

His hug recharged me like nothing else. His hug ignited my soul with passion, love and energy. His hug was the best bless I had within a long day of work.