Living in Egypt for almost my whole life made me psychologically severely damaged. I left this country doubting every single smile I see, scared of every footsteps following me, and afraid to trust any creature; dogs, birds, or humans.
Living with neighbors who insulted each other on daily basis made me believe that no one does any good for nothing. It made me doubt people’s intentions, and reasons behind their good deeds. It even made me learn to avoid meeting any of them on my way from my home door to my car!
Driving with angry reckless drivers in Cairo made me indifferent about death. My definition of danger and risk was severely deteriorating. I could barely sense any regret if I had to take someone’s right. I was even enjoying breaking the vague unclear rules. There was no days passing, when I do not witness a life-threatening accident. None of the days passed without hearing an extremely insulting mean word along my drive in my own private car.
Coping with the interfering annoying conversations for my personal space was quite devastating. It made me push away everyone and anyone by default. It made me hardly recognize what is personal and what is normal to ask. I ended up shy to talk about anything, and ashamed of answering any basic question.
Living there all that time destroyed all my references on how to be human. I needed quite sometime to heal. Now, after the extensive therapy, I started to get back my humanity. I enjoy and appreciate basics of life. In fact, I have learned finally how to have a clear non-polluted mind.