Nature is the heal for all souls. We are part of it, we come from it and we go back into it.
Have you ever felt the need to sit in front of the blue sea? Just sitting there. Doing nothing and just watching the dancing waves. Feeling the light breeze gently touching your face and washing away all sorts of marks left by time.
Have you ever craved touching trees and flowers? Walking between green fields, surrounded by scattered green trees. Tickling your ears with the psithurism of the trees and charging your heart with the chirps of the birds. That beautiful touch of each different leave embracing my finger tips. Secretly filling my soul to charge after all those scars.
As time goes on, every encounter and life experience, it deforms our souls and blocks our hearts from being able to connect to nature. It blocks the mind and disconnects us from our own senses.
Every now and then, I miss nature. I reward myself with a chance to reconnect to it. Either a short escape to the nearby lake, or a night walk between the trees to feel the secret nightlife of insects and creatures. Sometimes it is a walk to a high altitude to feel the fresh air entangling my senses. Nature is the most beautiful gift to recharge every possible wounded soul, and bring it to heal from any unwanted thoughts.
Language enriches your senses, your thoughts and your insights towards others. It is a reflection to a whole culture and beauty of differences between humans.
Along the years, I have learned new languages and built new lexicons to enrich my vocabulary. In the past, this was the case with English and now the same is happening with German language. It makes me wonder if we should measure people’s language skills by how they feel the language rather than how much grammar rules they know!
Let me give you a simple example. The expression of strong emotions (e.g love). Each and every single language on Earth has a way to express love. Each and every single human has the ability to understand also the words of love. However it depends strongly on the language used for the sender and the receiver.
Imagine two English people totally (and equally) in love, and one tells the other „I love you“. Both will feel the spark strongly because they have the same connection to the language. Same theory would follow for every other language if both are natives for that language. Mother tongue language always has the strongest impact.
Another example, if both speak various languages, and the only common foreign language is English. The impact of „I love you“ would be a bit different depending on the interpretation of each one in their own native language. Also, it depends strongly on how each one is well connected in English. Maybe the first one says it to everyone as a sort of gratitude (less connected to English), while the other feels it with every possible way (strongly connected to the language). It might create a misunderstanding or a misjudgment for what is truly meant to be said.
One other setup, let’s say you have one native English person and another whose first language is not English. The different weights of language connection would be huge. The impact of „I love you“ on one would be enormous and the other one would barely understand what’s the intention of what’s being said. Also if by mistake it was said by the non-native, the native would be totally overwhelmed!
I believe in languages and their hidden powers. It is always beautiful to realize the development of one‘s own language to be able to express more, understand more and exchange more on every possible level.
Adios! Good bye! Bis später! Au revoir! مع السلامة !
There are few people you meet in your life, who simply bring joy to life. They bring equilibrium, peacefullness and depth to your life. They are supporters, listeners, smiling and full of life. They lightly approach your heart, and leave deep beautiful marks on your soul. I wonder how some of them do that. But I hope to be for some, a light traveller.
The ability to connect to other humans is a gift. It is a special skill how to reach anyone’s heart and get access to their soul. That “chemsitry” does magic. That understanding needs to be there. It has no boundaries over age, nation, language or gender. It is simply a meeting of souls. You once find the access, and regardless the distance, it stays there. In childhood years, we named them soul mates. In youth years, we named them chosen sisters or brothers. Later, they become true partners and lifetime friends.
Authenticity is one of the true keys to anyone’s soul. The ones who are always truthful, not hiding their true endeavors are easy to approach. They make life easier, and you have no worries what they might tell behind your back. Be authentic, don’t be fake.
Optimisum is another key factor, you have to think about. You would rather spend time with someone who imposes positivity to you rather than someone who drains all your energy after you meet. Life is a natural huge pandora box, it is full of positives and negatives. Just spread a bit more positivity. Each one has their own burden of negatives already.
Never Judge! Being a human being, implies that each one has their share of good and bad deeds. Each one has their learning process. They go through their own life-tests and hardtimes. Sometimes they fail, sometimes they get over them. Each one’s test is different and unique. It is specially designed to fit their needs! Just don’t judge. You are no God. The hardships trims each soul in a special way to make them more human. The hardest thing for you, is to let go and accept whatever others did.
Forgive…. This also belongs to being human. Due to our differences, conflicts will come up. Do not be provoked by every single action. Don’t assume the worst from those in front of you. It is usually done by mistake. Even if it were intentional. Do not allow your heart to carry luggage of hatred. It burdens your soul and blocks your heart from connecting to others. Forgive and let go. Sometimes you have to forgive those who are unforgivable – which is the highest level of peacefulness.
Be light, travel light, let go, and spread peacefullness!
I once had a blind cat. Her name was Lucy. She could not see with her eyes but she used all her other senses to see and feel everything around her. She could identify us by our voices and smells. She played hide and seek and always found us by her ears. She was super intelligent because she used her full senses to do everything a cat usually does. For the first glimpse, you can never ever tell that she is blind. She could run with her full speed without hitting a wall. She knew when we went to bed to get her favourite cuddles. She was blind by vision but she had the full sight!
She was also extremely brave – or may be unaware of the full reality. She was confident enough to walk on the balcony edge and explore the apartment of our neighbours. I forgot to mention it was the 17th floor 🙂 She was fearless!
Sometimes, we might lose one natural gift and it empowers us in a miraculous way to reach new levels and unleash unexpected powers. This was a cat in my life, but she taught me to see beauty in every misery.
Every single time we pass by a beautiful scenery.. driving by the alps.. passing by a lake… seeing the winter snowflakes landing on weak leaves.. or the flowers randomly filling the sights..
Every time I see that beauty of Earth created by God.. it makes me wonder..
How would the heavens look like.. how would the eternal beauty look like.. if this is currently all temporary and non-eternal beauty.
كنت اتصفح احدي وسائل التواصل الاجتماعي بلا هدف.. فقط أقرأ ما يكتب ولا أستشعره ولا احاول حتي.. فقط قراءة لكلمات متناثرة لا تعني شيئا ولا أبذل اي جهد لفهمها…اتصفح بلا مبالاه.. منشور تلو الآخر.. حتي توقفت عند هذه الجملة… اللا عودة.. عندما يحدث حدث جلل ويتوقف الزمن ونصبح في طريق اللا عودة.. حيث لا يعود العالم كما كان ابداً.. يا الله.. أفزعتني هذه الجملة.. فكم لا عودة رأيت في حياتي.. وفي حياوات من أحب..
هذا الإبن الذي نام في حضن أبيه ذات يوم، وصحي علي اللا عوده.. فقد مات أباه وهو نائم.. نام علي الأمان والاحتواء.. واستيقظ علي الفاجعة واكتسب لقب اليتيم.. وعليه أن يتعلم كيف يحيي من جديد بعدما سلبت روحه..
وذلك الشاب حديث الزواج والذي بالكاد يبدأ حياته ويكتشف مرضه.. المرض الخبيث.. وعليه أن يبدأ رحلة علاج تستنزف ما بالكاد قد ادخره وهي رحلة اللا عوده.. إما أن ينجو أو لعله يهلك وفي كلتا الحالتين.. لن يعود كما كان..
وتلك الفتاة الذاهبة إلي الجامعة وفي الطريق اعترضها إحدي الذئاب البشرية وفقدت روحها بعدما اعتدوا عليها.. فحتي وإن نجي بدنها .. فلقد سلكت روحها طريق اللا عودة.. لن تصبح أبدًا ما كانت عليه. ستظل مشوهة مدي الحياة.. وعليها البحث من جديد عن نفسها وروحها لتولد بعد اللا عوده..
وهذه الزوجة اللتي ذهبت للحج مع زوجها.. ووافته المنية هناك.. فذهبا جمعاً وعادت فرداً.. وتبددت أحلامهم سوياً فأصبحت سراباً.. فذهبت زوجة وعادت أرملة في رحلة اللا عوده لها ولأطفالها..
استوقفني هذا التعبير.. اللا عودة.. استوقفني كثيرًا.. فاسترجعت قصصًا كثيرة لأناس مروا بحياتي.. فلكل منا نقطة أو عدة نقاط في حياته.. عندما أصبحت حياته في نقطة اللا عودة.. حيث تُفقَد روحه وتولد من جديد.. بمسمي جديد وتحديات جديدة وعالم جديد.. فتصبح كالطفل يتعلم كيف يحيي من جديد بعد نقطة اللا عوده
دى خطوات استخراج تأشيرة سياحية لحاملى تأشيرة شنجن (سارية وتم عمل دخول على الأقل مرة واحدة) وهى نفس خطوات اللى معاهم إقامة بدول الخليج ما عدا الإختيار فى رقم 6 :
1- اولا يتم الدخول على منصة التأشيرات من خلال الرابط (صورة 0)
3- اختيار تقديم طلب الحصول على تأشيرة من الممثليت السعودية بالخارج (صورة 1)
4- تسجيل وعمل اكاونت خاص بك بالايميل ويتم إرسال رساله تاكيد على الايميل ثم الدخول به على المنصة. (صورة 2)
5- إضافة طلب جديداختيار نوع التأشيرة سياحية -الممثلية القاهرة- وإدخال باقى بيانات الجواز ورفع صورة شخصية بخلفية بيضاء (صورة 3 و4)
6- تختار إقامة دائمة تانى اختيار حتى يظهر لك قائمة الدولة المانحة للتأشيرة ( لو اخترت الإختيار الأول قائمة الدولة المانحة لا شظهر خطأ فى الموقع) (صورة 5) (فى حالة الحاصلين على غقامة فى دول الخليج بيختار الإختيار الثالث.)
7- يتم رفع صورة الجواز لحامل تأشيرة الشنجن وفى حالة الزوجة يتم أيضا رفع صورة جواز الزوج وتأشيرة الشنجن الخاصة به. (صورة 5)
8- اختيار عدد مرات الدخول عدة سفرات 365 يوم مدة الإقامة 90 يوم وادخال رمز الصورة وحفظ الطلب (صورة 6)
9- تنتقل لصفحة الدفع زيتم الدفع اربع مرات (مرفق صورة 7)
10- بقيمة الدفع (صورة 8)
11- سيتم ارسال التأشيرة بإذن الله بعدها بدقائق على الايميل الخاص بك .
Life is a group of experiences meant to trim our souls and shape our ego. That hard moment or this devastating accident, this loss and that failure are all meant to hit your ego and تشبث بالحياة until you live because you just have to live. Day by day and move on.
You lose the link to life, and you come closer to death. You are ready to die, you are ready to let go and look forward to the next phase. This is after hundreds of hits, and a lot of trimming, until you have no other meaningful choice but to let go.
This is when life looses its meaning. You realize that life is nothing but a bus stop. You spend time knowing some passengers, they step out, others jump in and leave again on the bus getting to your next stop.
You might suffer different stuff with those passengers, hunger or lack of resources in general.. may be lack of financial cover to buy what you need or what you wish… may be you accompany mean passengers or unfair bus leader.. you might be travelling in the wrong direction, but no other option but to wait.. You just wait and wait.. Eventually you have to deal with whatever mistakes ending you up in this bus stop.
You might find yourself the bus leader without even asking for it. With almost endless ways to be unfair and yet you cannot escape this role.
You might wish to find a partner over this long stop, but no matter how you try, you end up alone… and you learn how to enjoy your own company.. You only wished for company, someone to talk to during those long drives. No guarantee that you will find someone, and no guarantee that you will end up alone. It is a human wish, to not end up alone.
You might be lucky enough to find someone who is a true soul mate… however you experience a devastating loss if they leave before you, or you are meant to leave before them… in this bus stop, all relationships progress to death… either a divorce or a breakup or a death.. or just moving to another tribe.
Life is a long journey with the bus. Try to control the steering wheel. Even if it does not always work out, do not get lost in the wrong direction. Wrong exits, and passed routes will definitely happen. Just watch out, not to end up where you never wished to go!
Being a hard worker is usually highly appreciated when you seek a job. The company will know that you will do your best, and you won’t give up. Those are all amazing traits… until lately!
In our field, the engineering fields, specifically the software development fields need a different set of skills. The hard worker is nice to have. But in the last couple of years, we seek the lazy ones more! Let me explain…
Let’s say you need to create an interactive website in a week, and you have some requirements, very basic ones.. What would people do in this situation? What would YOU do?
Some brilliant engineers will open their IDEs, start coding some stuff, and work 24/7 to deliver this project in the short timeframe given. They deprive themselves from sleep, from food and from life in order to deliver. Those are very good hard workers. They simply do their best to squeeze their work in time. That’s usually a good thing, they receive a praise from their managers. They get the job done, but they also burn out pretty quickly.
Some other “lazy” engineers are even more brilliant. They know all the tips and tricks how to not do everything from scratch. They program in blocks, and they use ready (or half ready) libraries to build their project. They don’t deprive themselves from sleep or from food. They only focus to do the minimum amount of work to get the maximum output. They simply don’t work hard, they only work smart! Those are the real smart ones!
Let me give you another story.. I used to know a student, who used to have trouble writing the words correctly. She could not write a single sentence without any typos. It was exhausting to help her out, and to review her text in any meaningful documentation. All of a sudden I found that all her text are correct and I couldn’t understand what she did to reach that level of perfection! All her chats are now correct, she writes correct emails, and she stopped those typos. So, I decided to ask her to try to understand. I wanted to know what exercises she did to excel that way… to my surprise she was no longer tipping but she was dictating her text to the phone and laptop! She taught me about this feature on the phone keyboard, and on google which writes down what you actually dictate the phone. This was a brilliant smart solution for a lazy person! She found the smart solution not the hard way solution.
We used to have an amazing professor at the university teaching us. He was always telling us: “Think more, calculate less”. Lesson learned… Be smart, be lazy, be efficient!
Germany… On a cold rainy Friday in the middle of February of 2016. I drove to the kindergarden after a long working day to pick up my little one as usual. I was thinking about my groceries list, and the best route to take to avoid the traffic. I parked very close to the entrance to avoid getting wet, and rushed to the main door.
Something felt wrong. The rector of the place was dressed in black, her eyes full of tears and her soul was screaming out of pain. I tried to ask her in my broken German language: “Was ist los?” (What happened?). She silenced for a moment. Opened a box in front of her, and gave me a paper. Then, she looked to me in the eyes saying: “Two of our children had an accident”. I was in a shock, speechless, and helpless. I gathered my words to ask: “Are they hurt?”. She answered: “They died”……………. Then silence prevailed.
A hundred question popped up. What happened, how did it happen, why did it happen. Are they only injured, or truely dead? Was it an accident? Why both kids? Which kids? How could anything bad happen to two children at once? Were they attacked at the kindergarden? Did they have a car accident? What about their parents? …..?
I started to have tears of the shock already, but I gathered my strength to ask, which kids? She answered: “Leonardo, and Miguel. It was in the news, and I cannot tell anymore.” I had a river of tears, and I felt suffocated. How come that they are both dead, how are their parents? What would I tell my child? She was playing with them most of the time…. I managed to murmer a last question: “Our children, do they know?”. She answered that they informed the children at the kindergarden that their friends aren’t coming anymore. That they left to Heavens, and they will no longer come to the Kindergarden. She further mentioned that the paper explained what they told the kids.
I picked her up, ran away from that place, and miracely drove back home. I hugged her, trembled out of fear. She cried for not seeing her friends, and I cried of the worst shock of my life so far.
I googled the news, trying to understand what happened. I found out that it is far much worse than what I thought.
Those kids were quite active, cheerful, and full of life. We played with them every day after the kindergarden at the playground. They had separated parents. A quiet devoted father, and a lovely active mother. That’s the image they always left in anyone’s mind. The father was always there for his kids, he showed love in every possible way. The mother was usually with her mother as well, and she came on time to pick them up on her days.
I remember exchanging few talks with the father, about his search for a job, and his education. He was also open for ideas for making the kids happier. We once also met them by chance in the swimming pool, where kids played, and further discussions about the father’s life and his hopes to find a better job to secure a better life for the kids. He was always there for the kids. He was however depressed of the separation. It broke his heart, and the mother wanted to move on. She was backed up by her family, and she seemed stronger emotionally.
In the news, it was stated that the kids were murdered on the “father-weekend” in his place. He killed them and tried to commit suicide but failed. They were both hit in the head, and the father was badly injured in the same place. Reading this was quite harsh for me to understand. How could such a devoted father kill his own sons? He was in a deep depression. He was seeking help from those he talked to. He mentioned it once to us about his job search, and his depression because of the separation. But as a non-professional psychologist, I could have never figured out the real danger of having his own kids murdered by him!
On the next day when I drove my child to the kindergarden, she ran to their place. She said: “Look Mum, their belongings are still here, they are not gone, they will have to come to take them back”. Her words were even stronger on me than the accident itself. That denial from my child, and how can I act strong in front of her. When I barely could move.
I spent months after that incident in a trauma. I read the news over and over again. I was feeling guilty that I could not help the kids. Eventhough I never had doubts. I only met them at the playground, and nothing more. I feared how anger might pull someone to the edge of insanity. I knew how depression can kill a person, and push him to be a murderer for those he loved the most.
I am writing this now, because this was an incident that would haunt me for the rest of my life. I once knew a real murderer. Someone who murdered his own kids. The man had severe depression, which no one could clearly see. Even those who saw it, never expected that things would get that ugly.
I learned the lesson from that story. Never underestimate depression. It takes one’s soul away. It kills. It pushes to limits no one ever thought possible.
May the souls of Miguel and Leonardo rest in peace. They were two little angels who left our world at the age of 3 and 5, by their devoted depressed father, who was devasted after the treason and separation of his wife.
Businessman stress, ripping up promise word on paper
Some of our coworkers act like perfect black holes in each company. They are the best ones to cause a nervous breakdown for those who massively rely on them. Do you know who they are? Are you already one of them? I hope not!
Have you ever worked with that colleague who promised a certain outcome and this promise never managed to see the light? Enterprises are built on dependencies between co-workers. One delivers something, so that the other one continues on top. Each one forms a piece of the whole chain for the end product. If one piece of that chain is not well-intact, the whole chain will break.
Do you remember that day where you counted on that person to send you the essential inputs for you to proceed with your work? But as usual.. nothing happened! They were only void promises without any intention to fulfill them now or tomorrow or in a month or even in the next decade. This creates a feeling of mistrust, and it kills the motivation of everyone. It is a growing monster in the business culture that should be immediately resolved.
Those promises in vain take away from the credit of the company culture. Until at one point of time, you wake up realizing the huge debt this void promises culture owes you. It leaves you sceptical of everything mentioned everywhere. It kills your trust and eats away your faith in your co-workers. In some cases, you either end up doing more than what you should do (out of commitment to get things done), or you end up giving up (since no one is actually doing their job, so why should you!).
This malicious culture is a threat for the existence of the organization. Once identified, a quick effective solution should immediately be in place. Respect others, respect your commitments, and respect your word!
Otherwise, the resignation of each and every talent will be the undefeated consequence.
Some actions to do when this blackhole grows in your team(s):
Identify the reasons for this behavior…
Too much to do?
Demotivated?
Lack of knowledge?
Afraid to make mistakes? Blame culture?
No consequences when they don’t deliver?
…etc?
Talk to the person, for his own reasons, and challenge the easy exits they usually seek…
Everyone is bad
Laptop is too slow
Food is too bad
Coworkers are evil
…etc? All reasons that “others” are bad
Define a reasonable commitment from the person on how to improve. Keep in mind…
Start with small targets over few hours
Increase with targets over days
Start with a closer monitoring to protect the person from the “external” factors
Show them the full-picture. Why do we do what we do?
Engage them in a motivating activity, to keep their spirits high
Talk to HR if this persists for a longer time span, to make sure you have the right tools!
Some people are meant to be strangers in our lives, and they remain that way. However, we see them every day! We connect to them, to the places, and we miss them once they are no longer there! They become so familiar that we secretly bond to them.
That man at the public bus station, who takes the bus of 7:30 in the morning every day. He has that perfectly tied shiny classic shoes, with a high quality shirt and a business leather bag. His white hair is perfectly styled on the right side, and his eye glasses are crystal clear resting on his ears. I saw him every day for few years, and I moved out of my house. Then, after few years, when I moved back to the same area, I found him. I felt that I missed seeing him… The familiar handsome white-haired businessman who takes the 7:30 bus on every work day….
That girl with colored hair and a Gothic style. I always loved her black nose septum piercing with the black earring. She had mostly blond hair with few strands of blue and pink. Her headsets always lied on her head while she enjoyed her own music, or they lied on her neck resting after a long day. She was a bit full, with that black styled clothes. The black jeans is always covered by a black T-shirt with some blue/grey/pink colored text. Whenever I saw her by the train station, she gave me those strong vibes of strength. She had the power to live in her own world without caring about anyone. She was a hard-to-miss stranger for me, who I always noticed. Those days during lunch breaks, while walking through the train station to get something to eat, I always saw her walking towards the train. I felt I know her since years now. I saw how she grew older, and how her vibes got stronger along the years. She is a quite familiar stranger for me.
That man, with the beard and short pants. He is quite unique. I saw him always after work stepping out of the bus station. He leaves the bus around 6:30 in the evening after work. His backpack is quite remarkable. The black laptop bag with an extra waist strap. It holds on to his body afraid to let go of him. The small icecap covering his hair is always there regardless the weather. His pants are remarkably short above the shoes. His style is like some men in the Islamic countries. He walks actively, contented of his day. This look of acceptance and pleasure is always drawn on his face. I always admired his determination in life. He gives me those vibes… Determination and devotion. He is a familiar stranger, whenever I pass by that bus station at this particular time, I automatically look for him to see if he is still there, okay, as he usually was.
I have many examples in mind. People that I barely know, but I see regularly in certain places, certain circumstances, and certain conditions. They feel very familiar to the extend that I miss them when I have the conditions where I should see them, but they are not there.
Micromanagement is the scary word used in most enterprises. It became the beast threatening each employee’s state of mind. Surprisingly, it is quite important to be applied in some -exceptional- cases. But once it becomes your normal management style, then QUIT! You are taking away the basic rights of your team(s) –> Freedom to be!
Micromanagement is a management style whereby a manager closely observes and/or controls and/or reminds the work of their subordinates or employees.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Micromanagement is a strong sign of lack of trust. If you need to check up on your team every few hours to make sure that they did their normal job, then there is something wrong!
It makes your team unhappy and insecure. You take away their chance to think on their own and figure out a solution. They cannot grow in the business. There were some pathetic stories where the restroom minutes were closely monitored by the boss! This is an extreme privacy violation. But under the umbrella of micromanagement, everything is allowed.
For you on the other hand as a manager, it makes you super stressed, and angry. It makes you the annoying person in the office who everyone tries to avoid. Can you imagine your day filled with “What’s the progress now? Why isn’t it done until now? Why are you doing this and not that?” for more than 5 team members? This makes it impossible for you to grow your team in a healthy environment. You get lost in details. Your team gets disconnected from you. Well, in other words.. You lose!
Surprisingly, micromanagement is essential in a few cases. These cases are usually a temporary state, where you need to get involved more closely until things go back to normal. I will list them here:
New employees joining the team. Do you remember the team that you newly joined? Didn’t you want more frequent follow ups from your manager? Wasn’t it quite essential to get this close-up inspections to make sure you really understand the job? For new employees, micromanagement is essential in the first phase until they are confident enough to fly on their own. You do it only to empower your new team members, not to strip them away from their thoughts.
Under-performers in the team. Those are the ones who are simply not able to produce the output expected without any support. It could be a new topic for them, or a complex exercise to do. They are the ones who constantly produce nothing notable. Without the frequent follow ups, they would deliver the wrong output, or do nothing! Those should be less than 10% of your team. Your target should be to enrich their knowledge to be able to really be independent. They should be diminishing to protect the culture of the team.
Newly established synergies. When you start to also work with a remote team, or another department. May be a new project starting, where you need to establish the bonds properly. You will need to closely follow up with them in the beginning to make sure things go the way it should be. With remote teams from a different culture, or a newly starting project, or a new customer joint venture, to build bonds with the team quite strongly, in the first few weeks, you will need to micromanage on different levels to ensure that the bonds are properly building. Once the foundation is there, you have to step back one by one, and allow the newly established synergies to fly.
When Micromanagement becomes a lifestyle, it leaves you both with wasted time trying to discuss what to do, rather than getting the thing done. It shall be applied in very limited cases for a limited time. For you, and for the whole team!
Here are few steps, if you are a people manager and you do any/some of them, make sure you will be losing your employee sooner or later..
Make a promise that you cannot fulfill. It can be a promise about salary increase, or a promise about a certain type of work. It might even be a promised thank you email! Miss that promise a couple of times, and you already lost credibility!
Challenge his/her task-context-switching skills. Distract them in a hundred different task within multiple projects. This way, you ensure they get distracted all the time. Lose endless hours getting back into context. Suffering from delayed deliveries. Above all, for sure, endless stress!
Make it a one-directional communication. You talk, they listen. They talk, you ignore. Brilliant way to kill their passion to come up with any idea. They won’t be listened to anyway!
Place them where they do not fit. When someone who loves writing code, is constantly placed in data entry, or someone who loves routine is constantly in a fire-fighting mode with unexpected customers. also the ones who love creating ideas are being assigned on maintenance. This way, you make each one question his true value, and if his/her skills are really contributing to their growth!
No fun. No room for fun. No room for any human feelings. We are machines. We come to work. We leave work to rest, to come tomorrow to work. Make them fear getting sick. Terrorize them for the personal circumstances. Let them hate their families for taking the time for the sake of work. This way, you ensure you foster machines, and you kill any hope for humanity within their souls.
Injustice. Be unfair. Let the ones who scream the loudest get the best benefits. Meanwhile, those who never complain or speak up, are constantly forgotten. This way, you ensure that they walk away, and never think of looking back again!
Bombard them with multiple endless directions. Create Chaos! Every two weeks, let us come up with a new direction, a new target, and a new set of urgent irrelevant activities. This fake sense of urgency will keep them in a panic mode, busy, unfocused, and totally scattered. This way, you ensure you always stay a leader, because none of them acts as a team. Divide to conquer!
Waste their time. Give them endless meetings to attend, without a real output or a real purpose. A meeting to plan what to discuss. Then, a meeting to discuss. Then, a meeting to discuss what we were planning to discuss. Then, another meeting to conclude, where we actually fight without a conclusion. At the end, we will end up without any output, many wasted hours, and the new topic would already pop-up to start this cycle again.
Create teams without any purpose. Group random people together and convince them that they are a team. Maybe all those with a name starting a common alphabetical letter. It could end up that the team is built of a taxi driver, a programmer, a cleaning person, and a painter. No one cares, we just group people for the sake of having a group. Give them an irrelevant mission (e.g. define the legal laws for taxes). Without a meaningful purpose, they will enjoy talking about their first common letter.
Ah! Don’t forget to belittle whatever they worked so hard to achieve. They created a spacecraft to go to the moon in 1 hour. Belittle their achievement, and just discard it. Compare it to your success as a child to create a Lego space craft in less than 15 minutes. Any sane person would notice that the comparison is irrelevant. But you are the boss! Just belittlethem.
Those are 10 common mistakes managers do. They end up losing their best employees. Sit back and reflect, on a scale of 10. How many mistakes did you actually do in the last couple of years?! What will you do about it?
In management, it is quite tricky to find the right balance between fulfilling what the company wants you to achieve, and your (human) social interaction with your colleagues and team.
In many cases, the company reads everything and everyone as just numbers. Those numbers might be hours, or monetary value incoming, or saved salaries. It is pure business without taking into account that those figures are humans behind the scene. Humans filled with thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas and dreams. They are your real asset as a company.
Taking a closer look, the word “Company” is stemming from the word “Companion“, which means the fact or condition of being with another or others, especially in a way that provides friendship and enjoyment.
How can you build this state of friendship or enjoyment without really going into the human side? How would you build a proper relationship with your employees if they are constantly seen as numbers? How would you keep the employees attached to the company, when the company itself does not feel attached to its human side of its employees?
In the recent years, the definition of a company changed. It is no longer a place to go do “something” to get “paid” at the end. It is a place where you spend most of your time. Your colleagues become your true companions along your days. You spend hours at work more than any other activity in your life. It means without the proper human-interactions and social basics, the company will not be able to maintain a proper healthy relationship with its employees.
One golden way to win employees is empathy. Showing that one’s cause is your cause. When the employee loves learning about a field, you should provide all ways for this person to get this learning within the area that would make the company move forward. When the employee’s passion is in networking, give him a role where he can benefit from his networking skills. If someone’s dream is to bring innovation, do not hold him in data entry position. When one’s passion is in details, do not ask him for overviews. If an employee’s major value is family, do not burden him with over-hours! The examples are endless, the most important is to really adapt based on each one’s values and motivation. This way the company wins, and the employee falls in love with the place allowing him to be (a.k.a. the company)!
The challenge for management is to find out this key for each person, and truly value his human values. Making one’s cause your cause builds bridges for all the fundamental healthy relationship goals one can have for a company!
It was my first time since ages to be left alone with my thoughts. This precious chance to sort out my feelings, and my dreams. It has been a real long time where I am in the dilemma of life, not able to complete a single idea to the end with the constant interruptions of everyone. The huge list of unfinished tasks at work, or the plans ahead for school, or the normal demands of the responsibilities of life.. They were all on hold, for a single night. This extraordinary chance to flow with my thoughts, taking me to places I wish to go, or guiding me to the path to listen to myself. This mesmerizing feeling with the gift of listening to my body, and awakening my senses. Walking around the city on my own, without the need to listen or focus with anyone but myself. The silence of the in flowing words, with the background noise of those strangers walking around, gave me a marvelous chance to feel the breezing chills brushing onto my face. The beautiful Christmas lights tingling my soul with its warmth. The mixture of smells of cinnamon and chocolate were shaking my feelings, bringing a wonderful joyful flow of thoughts. This well spent night on my own, away from all the burdening thoughts, tasks and demands chasing me, gave me a huge boost of inner peace. The beauty of the surroundings fading into my body, soul and feelings, was the best gift I could give myself. That chance to feel the world again, without any interrupts or cuts, was simply priceless. That chance to wake up with a quiet mind, and a calm heart is a precious bless for this week.
Some enterprises and large companies deal with software engineers as if they are working in a factory. This is one of the major pitfalls of trying to catch up with new business models with a stone-age mindset. In some countries where the industrial production is quite advanced, software engineering is a new area. Industrial production is almost over a century industry, whereas the modern software engineering is still young, evolving, growing and defining. Software engineering is a 30 years young industry where each 5 years, a new revolution in the software development takes place.
This gives the current managers who were taught and raised by classical factory-based industrial engineers and leaders no choice but to work in the old fashion. They end up working in a different world, which does not fit anymore with the software development mindset. Software engineer’s strength is their brain power not their physical power. It makes each one’s mental state his true power. You cannot replace an engineer with another one with the expectation that he would produce the same work. Even if you had two engineers with the same study, same background and same experience, you will end up with two different ideas.
The years of hard work and huge experience each engineer brings to the enterprise is the real value behind each person. It makes the market completely dependent on individuals. You can no longer build a “factory” with “random” software engineers. Each person makes a difference in his own way. The whole software industry is now based on individuals, brains and ideas evolving from each person.
The mindset that you can replace an engineer with another is no longer valid. This is extinct with the end of this industrial age and the beginning of the software development era. Each person counts!
Software development is growing massively. It is no longer a single area to develop. It is the trending industry of this era, filled with huge diversity. Each couple of years, a new branch in this evolving branch is born. Our role as workers, as leaders, as managers and as students in this software industry, is to change the mindset of machines. We deal with humans where no one is replaceable. Each resigning engineers leaves a gap behind, and every new hire brings new ideas with all the previous experiences collected in the previous years. It is time for this mindset to change.
The urge to write is pushing again. That mood that comes every year with beginning of November. The blues.. the gloomy clouds crawling in my soul.
This time it hits me with the question of my life purpose. That moment when most things settle down, you need to find a new purpose. A life goal.. a target to recharge you for the next days I am destined to live.
Career.. as a start. At one point, I feel it is time to learn new things to acquire new skills and to improve how I do things. It isn’t because I am bad in what I do. But mainly it is because the market is moving and it is time to refresh and work on my skills for a better me. My current confusion is in which direction shall I go.. Few options and little inputs for me to decide. Anyway, I need to decide soon not to wake up one day and discover that I would be left out.
Friends.. Social life. it is one of the building blocks for a healthy life balance. It has always had its weight in my life. I seek quality relationships with those I can genuinely connect to. But this doesn’t happen quite often. I suck at initiating a connection every day. But I keep the connection open even without daily calls. This doesn’t seem to work for most of those I know. Which makes me feel quite left out. The need to have friends where you share good and bad times is crucial for a balanced living. Especially when you are stranded in another country with a tough winter that you have to spend always at home. No matter how I try to build solid friendships. I lose it by the time. I used to look forward for weekends to spend time with friends. But even that doesn’t happen anymore. The people I used to consider as friends decided to step back. Now, with the gloomy moods, I can’t help it but feel left out.
Sports.. here sports isn’t a place to build social connections. It is a place to go, do your thing and go home. I was still keen to go regularly for my own health and my own sanity. Sports has always been my escape for releasing all negative energy of the week. I tried different Sports. I tried different types of classes. All end up the same. I don’t know if it is me or this is how it is here. May be the Sports I try aren’t those which are typical for my age. But in general, Sports is something regardless what, is only for me. It doesn’t help in eliminating this feeling of being left out.
Being left out is usually something only in our heads. It isn’t something to blame others for. This is one thing which comes from inside. This is where we need to focus our feelings and dig deeper to help this feeling fade away.
In my career, slowly, meetings crawled to my daily life. It became a timed slot where we are allowed to discuss something specific. It has to fit the time planned, and it has to stick to the time slot defined. It is with a certain group of people, and it cannot be interrupted by an outsider.
The point is, there are a lot of topics that I need to care for, and it has to be done. I do not like leaving a lot of hanging discussions, because they overflow in my mind. I prefer to close the topic as early as possible with the least chances to come back to it again.
I recall in my junior years at work, I found it quite funny to plan a meeting less than 1 hour. Then, along the time, I found it quite a waste of time to plan meetings longer than 30 minutes. In most of the cases, I even try to finish and conclude within 20 minutes. Most topics need this long to reach a common ground, and unify views. Afterwards, each has to work on his own, and then, we conclude or recap again in another 20 minutes.
Meetings shaped my days. It feels like drawers with different contexts. I feel I am selling my lifetime for others in different bubbles. I fully concentrate with the person/persons that I meet with for that 30 minute. Then, I need to conclude and close this drawer. Then, I open the next drawer, with different people, different mindset, different context, and repeat.
On some days, this is quite hectic. In some cases, the day is shaped in a way where each 30 minutes I discuss and conclude on totally different topics. Those days are usually when I feel completely drained.
On some other days, we have lots of different discussions, but they are still within the same topic and context. Those days are quite easy, since most drawers and bubbles are already linked together. I do not need to leave many open drawers at the same time.
Meetings culture is something that most people do not like. But it is still a crucial way to build work. We meet, work and conclude. This is how it should always be. The more meetings end without a conclusion, then it should be an alert that something is definitely wrong. The more conclusions are reached, the higher productive you are.
Basic rules for a successful meeting:
Start on time – When it is planned at 10:00, you cannot show up 10:01. You need to be on time, to show respect for others.
No hijacking – When you need to explain a side topic that does not fit to the main context, tell the audience about it, and invite for another round to explain this specific side topic. This ensures that the current meeting is still as planned, with higher chances to conclude.
No multi-tasking – When you are in a meeting, do not start reading emails or shopping for the groceries. Focus with all your senses, it will increase the chance that you understand quicker, and then conclude.
Respect – Mutual respect is crucial. Not that someone did not understand what you say, then it is their fault. It is usually your fault that you cannot deliver the message correctly. Do not attack the ones you meet with, but rather work together on improving the work being done.
Don’t you sometimes feel that you are not able to connect to some people? On the other hand, sometimes you connect to others in the blink of an eye. Sometimes relations work quite smoothly, and sometimes it is a pure fight to make basic things work. It usually depends on both persons communicating. But in general, few basics should always exist to be able to build a healthy relation with anyone, and to be able to establish a normal communication.Respect
Respect
Respect has few meanings. It means mutual respect, the way you visualize the person you communicate with. The feelings you hold behind for that person would contribute massively to how you control your attitude. Respect defines your words, your body language, your thoughts and your expressions. This is usually the very basic rule to start with any meaningful talk. If that disappeared, the whole ground for a conversation vanishes.
Trust
Trust is another huge pillar for any basic communication. Can you imagine yourself talking to someone you never trust? Can you imagine how your feelings would be to spend few minutes exchanging with a person you barely trust? This is exactly why trust is a very strong foundation for any meaningful communication exchange. When you barely trust someone, you start to attack their words, their beliefs, and their sayings. This brings lots of negativity to the conversation. Meanwhile, the person being attacked, will be defensive, which worsens the whole situation. The mistrust feeds in more fractures to the forming relation.
Language
Language is another huge pillar. Can you imagine exchanging a deep conversation with someone who barely speaks your language. It is not only the same language, but also the same vocabulary for the same language. In some cases, different dialects or different vocabulary used for the same words make the conversation close to impossible! It creates many misunderstandings, hence damaging the trust and also the respect eventually. Picking the “polite” words may differ from one person to another. Choosing the right description for a certain meaning would change from one culture / educational background to the other. It plays a huge role to make the communication foundation stronger, or it can easily damage all what previously was built.
The best way to decorate a cake is to first identify what taste you would like to have. But in general, there are few basic rules to be able to get a light taste, with the perfect ingredients.
First decide, how it would taste, shall it be a pure fruit cake, or a chocolate cake, or a mix of both?
For me, I usually prefer the option to have fruits inside, with white creme, and cover it on top with chocolate. This way, it would be relatively light, and still quite delicious.
Steps for the inside:
Cut the cake to 3 layers (**)
Add the first layer to the final serving plate.
Add few spoons of sprite/7up. –> Usually this adds a lovely juicy effect to the cake
Add the whipping creme as a small layer –> this helps the cake layers stick properly together
Add chopped banana –> bananas add a very nice neutral taste to any cake
Add the next layer of the cake.
Add few spoons of 7-Up or sprite (lemon soda drinks make wonders!)
Add whipped creme again to stick the layers
Add some jam (usually peach or strawberry jam is the best)
Add some nuts (usually almonds and hazelnuts are the best taste)
Add the last cake layer
Repeat the steps (3&4)
Make the whipping creme even to be ready for the decoration step ** tip: you can increase the height of the cake by doubling the number of cakes used, and still repeat same steps with each layer. You can also add more ingredients with each layer, like: pineapple, chocolate chips, nutella or peanut butter.
How to decorate from outside:
Look in the internet for ideas, what do you want to put on top…
It can be chocolate icing, or white icing, to pour on top of the cake
It can be drips on the side of the cake
It can be a half-naked cake from one side, and the rest is covered with flowers
It can be covered with biscuits on top
A nice tip: writing with chocolates.. This is a very nice trick. You can get a normal chocolate bar, and heat it in the microwave for less than a minute. It will become relatively smooth. Put a couple of molten chocolate spoons in a plastic bag (the small ones for preserving food), and make a cut on the side. Then, feel free to write anything or draw anything. Afterwards, freeze the chocolate figures in the fridge (or even deep freezer). Then, you will have your own hand-made chocolate figures, drawings and names. This will make your cake even more professional with a very nice personalized touch!
Above here are some pictures with some basic easy ideas.
Cooking is an art.. a hobby.. a way of meditation.. It reflects everything inside, and it shows how much love you hold inside.
In the past, I used to cook as a process, because we have to eat, and because I have to cook. Eating was a process, and I never enjoy what I eat. Until lately, I changed my perspective.
I still eat to survive, because when I starve, it is quite hard for me to stay focused. I start shivering, and trembling out of hunger. But still, I started to enjoy cooking. I feel proud and happy to create something delicious. I enjoy the idea of mixing strange ingredients together to create something out of the norm.
I feel proud with that little cake, or that nice salad. I feel happy to see that smile or amusement of others eating what I tried to prepare. It is quite an amazing feeling, to see that those mixed ingredients, could create that much happiness for others.
I do love to cook different things, with lots of love. I enjoy the smell of what is cooked. I enjoy seeing others enjoying it. This was a very long road, until I can say I am now here. It is no longer a heavy duty which I hate doing. It is now a quite enjoyable activity, I would totally love to do for others, and with others. It is a bless, to be able to cook, with love.
سابليه بالمربي السابليه من انواع الحلويات المحبوبة من الصغار و الكبار و اللي ممكن يدخل في مكوناتها اضافات كتيرة جدا بتغير النتيجة في كل مرة عجينة السابليه هي اساس صناعة التارتات و اشكال اخري من الحلويات هذه احدي وصفات السابليه المعتمدة عندي من حوالي خمس سنين المقادير. …….. 200 جرام زبدة بحرارة المطبخ 100 جرام سكر بودرة 300 : 350 جرام دقيق فانيليا أو أي نكهة مفضلة رشة ملح 1 م ك كاكاو في حالة كانت الرغبة سابليه بالشوكولا و تخصم من كمية الدقيق 1 حبة بيض في حرارة المطبخ الطريقة …….. تخفق الزبدة قليلا ثم يضاف السكر تدريجيا مع الخفق حتي يفتح اللون و نحصل علي خليط كريمي يضاف البيض و الفانيليا مع الخفق حتي تختفي و تندمج يضاف الدقيق تدريجيا حتي نحصل علي عجين غير ملتصق مع مراعاة عدم العجن و إنما مجرد لم العجين و نتوقف عن إضافة الدقيق بمجرد تشكل العجين لدينا حتي لو لم نستخدم كل الكمية بمعني عدم التقيد بكمية الدقيق من المهم أن يكون العجين رطب و ناعم و غير ملتصق يغلف العجين بالبلاستيك و يوضع في الثلاجة من 10 دقائق حتي ليلة كاملة و عادة ابقيه وقت قليل ناخذ كمية من العجين و تفرد بين ورقتين زبدة أو سيليكون أو بلاستيك بسمك حوالي 3 مم تقريبا و تشكل بالقطاعات حسب الشكل المرغوب علي أن تكون نصف الكمية بها فتحة في منتصفها يخبز فوق ورق الزبدة في حرارة 160 حتي يتلون بلون فاتح و بسيط يترك ليبرد جيدا قبل التزيين الف هنا
This connection to yourself. Your inner self. Where you actually feel you are safe to be who you are. Where you are no longer afraid of your thoughts. Your ideas. Your feelings. This is this special connection where you actually feel you can be. You can exist. You can feel safe to live the way you do. This is not a light easy thing. It requires years of work.
Usually, growing up includes a lot of taming one’s self to be the version one should be. Until at one point of time, you grow up and feel on your own in the ocean of life. You end up not knowing anymore how to be, whether you are allowed to be, or if you can be who you are meant to be. Many questions, not a single answer.
This is the time that you should sit and pause. This is when you should look deeper into your soul, into your self. This is when you get to know yourself for the first time. This is when you truly face the hardest beast of your life… Your own inner you.
Once you make your homework, and identify your thoughts, your needs, your feelings and your beliefs. This is when you truly become one. This is when you integrate with your inner self to be whole again. This is when your outside joins your inside to become your new true you. That version which was hidden for years afraid to see the light. This is the version which was always suppressed, scared to face the outside world.
This is when you truly connect to yourself, and become the mature grown-up intact you. This is when you flourish and grow to be ready to face the whole world.
I used to push myself so hard to look for the big achievements every day. I belittled the small things. It used to be so hard to see those small achievements as real successes. The pressure I used to suffer from was mostly coming from inside. Until one day, I learned the lesson.
Life isn’t about what you do on a large scale. This isn’t something everyone is meant to do. It is mostly about those small little tiny achievements done every single day consistently. It is about the consistent progress for the big targets. It is not at all possible to reach those big targets without keeping the steady pace of the small achievements.
Taking that example of work, for work to be a great success, it has to be a steady pace of small achievements regularly. Depending on your job, it can be sending those positive vibes to the team. It might be that consistent correct task done. It could also be that professional dealing with the daily small obstacles you face. Succeeding in that, one by one, will make you the person making a difference in everyone’s life at work.
Another example would be the family. For a mother to be successful in motherhood, it doesn’t work when you seek perfection in every single detail. It works better when you keep your steady giving for your family without feeling drained. Let it be the daily routine of cooking or helping in certain households. It might be keeping the good friendship with everyone and maintaining the strong connections with your family. It might seem trivial for anyone. But without it, life would have been a mess. This is a major success in itself.
The examples are endless. In sports being a regular trainer. With friends being the supportive or the fun or the backbone. For children being their one true adult friend. It might seem trivial. But this is the true success being able to maintain the strings of your daily routines working with love and devotion.
This is how you succeed. This is the true achievements of life. Seeking those little achievements daily is definitely the key.
Loss is that painful feeling that you have no longer a chance to talk to or see your beloved ones. Loss comes with many forms. The loss of a love. The loss of a relationship. The loss of a beloved job or a valuable asset. Loss forms also in health and habits. But above all comes the most painful losses with death.
Death parts people and takes away the chance to build new memories together. The person who passed away might continue to live inside us. But it turns from the present tense to the past tense. It becomes a voice in our minds.. a feeling in our hearts.. it becomes a dream or a flashback. But the real agony comes from the fact that no matter what you do, you won’t be able to live again any of those small moments.
Those endless little details being lost.. is the most painful thing about death. It is the absence of that flawless good morning.. the calming voice you used to call everyday is constantly missing… the disappear of that caring open channel you used to have..
Loss leaves us behind grieving badly. Grief beyond words can express. A level of grief where life is no longer the same.
How come that the places our beloved ones used to exist in are now that empty. Empty bed. Empty room. Empty hall. Silence prevails to a level which kills me. That chat which will no longer continue. Our talk which will never witness your reply again.
That kind of loss.. grief and pain. It is beyond what my heart can handle. It is indeed painful. The voices in my mind.. your voices.. your words are echoing nonstop leaving traces of endless vain.. pain.. eating everything and leaving lots of hurting. Loss is making me speechless. I try to silence the pain by keeping company. But every night on my bed. I sneak in the darkness and cry my soul out. It is hard to believe you are not here anymore. I hoped we had still few decades together. But I was wrong. The shock.. the fear.. the hurting.. no words will ever describe how we all feel.. your loss.. is one of the hardest losses..
A Little About Everything 